Child Training:
"A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing
theories, and no actual children."
Dave Barry, comedian
Updated Dec 5, 2000Show Them : The Father's
Face .
Know Them : Soul
to Soul
Grow Them
: In Discernment & Soul-Control
|
©
L.E.A.D.
toward restoration & maturity in Christ, for God's glory, when you
are in authority: Why & When to L.E.A.D.? Matthew 20:20 ff. When a Christian is in a position of authority, he or she is to lead as Christ, not the way of the world. If you love and equip, but do not exercise accountability and discipline, your leadership is unbiblical and will fail to honor God, benefit others, and bring you joy. Likewise, if you focus on accountability and discipline, and neglect loving and equipping, then your leadership will fail just the same. And please do not fall for the modern myth of mutual submission. A parent for example is to be loving and kind, but never submit to the children. Jesus submitted to human authorities, because His first coming to the world was not yet as the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. (See the article by Wayne Grudem, Ph.D., on (The Myth of Mutual Submission".) © F.O.L.L.O.W.
your leaders, in order to reveal Christ's
character, when you are under authority: Why & When to F.O.L.L.O.W.? Sadly, some children today have learned by example from their mothers and fathers, the modern motto of "NO RESPECT, NO FEAR, NO RULES". Yet Scripture says that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Scripture teaches that all human authorities, yes even unbelieving ones, are in their position because God sovereignly allowed it. They are therefore His delegated authorities to ensure some level of order in this sinful world (Rom 13). We are to honor and fearfully respect all of them as unto the Lord. We are to obey them, unless they command us to violate a higher command. If such a sinful command is given, then we are to humbly and respectfully appeal directly to that sinful authority, and if that does not change the situation, then we can and sometimes must appeal above that sinful authority to higher human authorities. Remember, a person in rank under an authority, is never to "rebuke" that authority, who represents God's hand. The process of appeal is the only biblically, Christ-honoring method of dealing with a sinful authority. (See the articles section for more detailed exposition of these crucial principles) |
Once
upon a time, Mrs. Natter went out to "walk her little dog",
Rebel. As she and her cute little dog stepped out the door, Rebel lunged
forward on the leash and begin dragging Mrs. Natter down the street. As
all the neighbor's watched and giggled, Mrs. Natter continually begged,
"Heel! Heel!", while jerking back on the leash a hundred
times. Every once in a while, she threatened to count to ten and take
little Rebel home if he didn't behave, but he just kept on pulling. 
Finally,
they both returned to the house exhausted and totally aggravated with one
another. She couldn't understand why Rebel seemed to have forgotten all
that the Professional Dog Trainer taught him in that expensive dog obedience
course. "Oh well", she thought as she collapsed onto her sofa
and prayed, "Maybe, somehow, Rebel will be different tomorrow".
On the other side of town, at the same time that morning, Mrs. Shepherd, went on a "walk" with her little dog, Trusty. As she opened her front door, her beloved companion, sat wagging his tail, and waiting for her to put his leash on his collar. Trusty always let Mrs. Shepherd step out first, then he'd gently and carefully follow her L.E.A.D.. As they leisurely strolled down the street, Trusty walked right next to Mrs. Shepherd, attending to her every move and wagging his tail in puppy love. Whenever she stopped to look at the flowers, her faithful K-9 friend stopped and sat next to her, patiently waiting until she was done. Occasionally Trusty was tempted to chase a cat or a neighborhood squirrel, but just one quiet word from Mrs. Shepherd and he'd eagerly step back in line, right next to her leg. As they arrived home, they're relationship of love and trust was even closer, and more deeply rewarding.
Why was there such a stark difference
between these two relationships?
Do you think Mrs. Shepherd just lucked out and by chance bought a good
dog, Trusty?
Or could it be that she consistently trained him with the practical principles
of a Good Shepherd?
Folks, please remember that the most dangerous threat to your family & your church is not nuclear, biological, or chemical terrorism. The most destructive weapon in Satan's arsenal is subtle deception. His goal is to divide and conquer; to separate you from intimacy with God and others. This is especially true when it comes to you and your children, because Lucifer the lion (1 Pet 5:5-9) wants to isolate and devour the next generation of your family line. God's design for relationships is being replaced by confused "alternatives". Now successive generations are embracing the "natural" way of rebellious self-rule. What people need is God's Spirit, Word, and church family, not man's theories.
All of the following Biblical principles apply to any relationship where an authority is responsible to train and L.E.A.D. others under his or her care. Whether the authority is a government official over citizens, a boss over his employees, a husband over his wife, a parent over the children, or even a human over a pet animal, the basic principles are the same throughout creation. Remember that God trained Moses and David as shepherds in preparation for leading people. And the prerequisite for leadership in the church is the ability to rule one's home well. So the principles of training God's creatures are simple and universal. Yet the specific manner of application varies according to the type of relationship.
© L.E.A.D.
to Restoration & Maturity in Christ (Mat
18:15-20; 28:18-20)
- L oving
(Mat 22:36-40; Joh 13:34-35; Rom
13:8-10; 1 Co 12-14; Gal 5:14; 1 Jo 3-4)
- E quipping
(Rom 1:12; Col 2:2; 1 Th 3:1-2;
5:14; 2 Ti 3:15-17) Teach, Convict, Correct, Train
-
A ccountability
(2 Tim 2:1-4; Titus 2:3-5) Man
to man, Woman to Woman
-
D iscipline
(Mat 18:15-20; 1 Co 5:9-13) One to One, Two
or More, Church, Public
© The
Great Sub-Mission? (Our Mission Under Authority: Disciplined
Discipleship)
Matthew 28:18-20 "And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying,
‘All authority has been given to Me in heaven and
on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of
the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have
commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the
end of the age. Amen.'" The New King James Version [Emphasis
added]
Matthew 28:18-20 is often called the Great Commission, but is really The Great Sub-Mission. Remember, our Father has left us here on a mission under (sub) the authority of His Son, our Lord Jesus. Authority implies an expectation of faithful, obedient, submission. Therefore, making disciplined disciples for the glory of our Father is the primary purpose of His church in this world, and every family in the church.
Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758) "Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by his rules. ....Take heed that it not be with any of you as it was with Eli of old, who reproved his children, but restrained them not; and that, by this means, you do not bring the [same] curse on your families as he did on his."
"In the beginning, God . . . "
the Father was the ultimate authority over all. Peaceful, submissive
cooperation was the character of His creation. Then Lucifer, Eve,
and Adam rebelled in selfish competition with God and one another
to become their own, independent authority. But for 6,000 years
of His-story, God has called out a people to be different from
this rebellious world of competition and survival of the fittest.
And He has commanded us (especially the men) to go and fight the
good fight, rescue the suffering, and multiply His Kingdom family.
Jesus, our elder brother, promises to be with us as Commander
to the end of the age, "when He delivers the Kingdom to God
the Father, when He puts an end to all [rebellious] rule and all
[unsubmissive] authority and power", so that God will again
be "all [authority] in all" (1 Cor 15:24-28). Until
then, we are responsible to prayerfully plan strategies so that
our lives, families, and churches cooperate with His Mission.
For example we must model for our children the basics of a truly
Spirit-submitted life:
- Feeding on His Word individually and daily read, memorize, meditate,
study, practice . . . .
- © L.E.A.D. others in
the practice of His Word by Loving,
Equipping, Accountability, Discipline . . . .
- Open our homes to the lost in humble hospitality as Hospital
clinics for the spiritually suffering . . . .
- Financing the distribution of His Word through tracts, books,
radio, evangelistic and counseling seminars . . .
- Using your spiritual gifts to teach, counsel, serve, administrate,
coordinate, etc.....
(See also the sermon on Gen 3:9-14) .
The Lie = Pantheistic Parenting
Humanism Finds Religion
[Gen. 1-11; Deut 6; Mal 4; 2 Cor 10-11; Eph 1-6; 2 Thes 2; 2 Tim
3-4]
.
Competition & survival of the fittest?,
the "baddest"??, suffering & death?
(Wild Kingdom) Tales from an ex-zookeeper.
Pride goes before destruction!
Self-pleasing, self-loving, self-actualizing,
self-deification.
Modern Teen Motto: "No rules
& No fear" ??
Logical Luciferic Conclusion: "I AM!"
New Age - Old Lie (Self-Deification).
The Truth = The Father's Family:
Loving Submission Under His Hand - The Son's Way of Hypotasso
[1 Pe 5:5-9; 1 Co 11:1-3; Rom 13:1-7; 1 Ti 2:9-14; Eph 3:14-21;
6:1-4]
Lessons From A Puppy "Keep Your
Eyes On The Master."
Parental Picture Whose Image Do You
Reflect?
As a Husband, As a Wife. As a Dad, As a Mom. As a Christian,
As an employee.
LISTEN (Heart To Heart) - Deut 6; Pro 18.
- Countenance (T.O.
F.R.E.E.: Touch, Open, Face, Eyes, Example)
- Time (Disciple Dates:
Quantity & Quality)
- Ask them what they mean.
Be Sure You Are Accurate!
SHARE (Heart To Heart) - Eph 4:22-32.
How & What ....... Teach Biblical,
Not Blind Thinking!!
- A.B.C.s (Attitude,
Behavior, Countenance). Gal 5:16-24.
- H.E.A.R.T. (Speak Truth
in Love). Eph 4.
- J.O.Y. (Jesus First,
Others Second, Yourself last).
Mat
6:33-34; 22:36-40; Luk 9:23-26;
14:26-27.
- The 3 Branches & 1 Root
of SIN. Gen. 3; Mat
4; 1 John 2:15-16.
- The Way Home to Father's Arms:
(Confess, Repent, Walk in Faith) Gal 1-6
This session
provides practical tools to equip you and your children to practice
discernment in this New World of Deception. Like spiritual
land mines, powerfully seductive and twisted messages now saturate
our children's paths.
.
TV, movies, videos,
computer games, cartoons, magazines, the government school systems,
and yes even some "Christian" teachers, counselors,
and preachers are potential sources of serious error. Some
do it intentionally, and others do it unwittingly. Some
do it blatantly, while others do it insidiously.
In every case,
each has the potential to lead your little lambs astray.
Please study and learn how you can protect them.
|
1. Rules 2. Consequences 3. Command 4. Application 5. Overcome 6. Praise 7. Rest |
* You can write out a separate worksheet for any specific problem
you're having with any child, using these simple biblical principles.
Practice ! (i.e., going to bed on time, cleaning the room, honesty, riding in the care, etc.) |
1. TEACH the RULES : Galatians 3:24 Make sure the child is old enough to be able to keep the rule or do the task. Keep the rules to a few basic principles, rather than 10,000,000 little, legalistic laws of your land. Explain a bit of why the rules are for the child's good (but beware of kid's tendency to demand endless explanations before they obey). Teach them to say, "Yes sir, I'd be glad to", when ever you give a command. Verbal recognitions of a respectful and faithful attitude toward authorities are practiced and expected throughout Scripture. They are the first to go when the heart begins to harden and turn toward rebellion. Be sure to role-play with them so you're sure they understand. Have them repeat your instructions back to you in their own words, so you can evaluate how well they understand.
2. TEACH the CONSEQUENCES: Galatians 6:7 Remember, consequences include rewards as well as punishments. So emphasize the positive. And act like you believe your child is going to obey this time. Give the child some hope in your countenance (facial expression, tone, volume, etc.).
3. GIVE the COMMAND: Proverbs 6:23
Be sure to get their attention first. Call the child's name. If
you are naturally passive and avoid conflict, then you especially
need to beware of giving indirect, timid command. That merely
invites a challenge. And if you are naturally bold and assertive,
be careful that you don't over do it and provoke the child to
bitterness or discouragement (Eph 6:4).
Give it only once, and quietly.
Think about it. Don't count to ten as a threat. If a mom says,
"I'm going to count to ten and if you don't stop eating that
candy, I'm going to punish you". Then the child can eat till
she counts to nine and then quit. Right? Also, don't say "OKAY?"
after you give a command! That is like asking permission from
your child. Instead, ask, "Do you understand what I said
to you?".
4. APPLICATION of the CONSEQUENCES:
Romans 6:23 Pos-neg, consistent,
effective, controlled anger, but grief
is more effective (Eph 4:30).
5. OVERCOME God's Way: Proverbs
19:19 Apply consequences until
he chooses to submit his will to yours.
("Not my will, but ...")
6. PRAISE 'em when they repent!!!!!:
Romans 12:21 Always reward obedience.
7. REST: Hebrews 4:9-10
Enjoy the peaceful rest of giving
the results to God (Psa
46:10; Eze 18:20).
