Speaking the Truth in Love
Eph 4:11-16 "And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head — Christ — from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love."
When a message is not wrapped in obvious charity and humility, many listeners will reject the package, before the truth it contains is even recognized. Certainly all of us as spouses, parents, children, counselors, teachers, and preachers have at times allowed our flesh to unnecessarily offend others by speaking harshly. At other times, we've been too timid and have failed to risk conflict, even when error or immorality needed to be confronted with God's Truth. As always happens, such failures are noticed by those who oppose biblical counseling, and are then exploited to the detriment of the entire movement. The brief biblical study below, explores both the biblical mandate for loving communication, as well as a few of the many biblical principles for its practical application in real life relationships:
| "Speaking the truth" - aletheuo | "in love" - en agape |
| Gal 4:16-19 Aletheuo, also
used here in the context of a warning about error, with the same goal to
L.E.A.D. others toward restoration & maturity.
Pro 18:13 Why is listening a crucial, first step? 1Pet 2 Can silence ever be a good response? Isa 1:17 Is silence ever a sin? Joh 14:6 Who is the truth. (Col 1:27-2:10) Joh 17:17 What part should your opinions play? Rom 10:17 What will change people? Acts 17:11; Heb 4:12 What determines truth? Mat 7:1-5 Who is worthy to judge heart motives? Mat 18:15-17 Should we ever judge anything? 1Cor 5:9ff Why is church discipline so rare today? Eph 4:25 What is exaggeration and why is it wrong? Mat 10:34 Is it ever good to create division? When division occurs between you and someone else, what are some questions you can ask yourself to discern whether or not you failed in communicating? |
Rom 5:8 - regardless of feelings,
agape is choosing to care for the person as you would yourself, thus self-sacrificing.
2 Tim 2:23-26 What's wrong with arguing? Eph 4:29 Build up what? Self-esteem or Christ-esteem? What's the opposite of "building up"? What does it mean to give "grace" to the listeners? Col 4:6 Why is it important to adapt your responses according to "each one" you talk to? Write down some examples of adapting your speech. Mat 5:22 Why is it so wrong to ridicule? ("Raca"?) Eph 5:4 Does sarcasm usually sound like love or pride? Prov 15:1 What does harsh anger produce? Eph 4:26-30 How can showing grief produce a better response than expressions of anger? Gen. 4:6-7 What does your countenance reveal? 2 Tim 3:16-17 Explain the steps for using God's Word, as described in these verses? 2 Tim 4:2 What final charge is given to those who must confront the errors of non-biblical, "soul-healers" (i.e., psyche-therapists). |
* List 5 ways you can personally change your heart attitudes
to better cooperate with the Holy Spirit.
* Do the same with any needed changes to your words, facial expressions,
actions, etc..
* Then actively & prayerfully pursue new, more Christ-like communication
to replace any old patterns.