How are you doing 
on God's conflict meter?

Giving Up (defensive) < < < < < < Standing Firm > > > > > > Blowing Up (offensive)
                                              

    God has commanded us to march forward, fulfilling our ranks, roles, and responsibilities (Galatians 5:22-25).  Then when conflict in relationships arises, which is real spiritual warfare, we're to stand firm (Eph 6:10-20), loving even our enemies.  We're not to give up in fearfully defensive reactions, nor are we to blow up in offensive selfish aggression.  Even though we know what we're supposed to do, we all still tend toward both of these unbiblical, unChristlike extremes.  

    Jesus stood firm on the nails piercing his feet, with His arms opened wide.  He not only stood firm to pay the price for our unloving lack of faithfulness, but also as an example of how we are to respond to others (Luke 9:23-26).  Guess what?  You and I can't do it.  We don't have the power of goodness to pull it off, when our buttons are really pushed.  When the going gets rough, we either wimp out or become mean and hurtful.  

    Only God has the goodness to live His pure love in and through us (Gal 2:20; 4:19).  I counsel people all the time who try and tell me, "I just don't know how to change".  Folks, that excuse is either a deliberate lie or a serious case of self-deception.  Why?  Because the Way of God's Son is simple submission.  It's submissive faith under God's hand of authority, eagerly obeying the Holy Spirit's law of agape love.  Then building on that foundation (1 Cor 3), a Christian is to study and practice putting off the old patterns of their unsaved attitudes and actions, and putting on the new patterns of attitudes and actions that flow from the Lord and His Word (Eph 4).

**  Watch yourself this week.  You'll be tested many times.  Some tests will be tiny, and some will be beyond your human ability to respond with pure attitudes, behaviors, and Christ-like countenance.  When any test pops up, practice freezing and submitting your heart to the Lord.  Pray silently and ask Him for wisdom as to how you should respond (James 1:2-8).  Then carefully begin to speak and act to deal with the situation for God's glory and the blessing of all those involved.   If you need to and the opportunity allows it, get counsel from your pastors, who should know the Word well and how to help you apply it in everyday life and relationships.  But when you seek help involving other people in relationships, be careful not to violate the conditional confidentiality commanded by Jesus in Mat 18:15-20.