Appeal to Sinful Authorities

Appeal vs. Rebuke:
Responding to Sinful Authorities

* Audio available through Sound Word Associates (http://www.soundword.com)

Also, click here for a critical review of the book, The Excellent Wife.

Additional, post-conference comments and examples that could not be included in the time frame for the workshop:

* Note that in the following descriptive heading in Eph 5:21 ("submissive to one another"), Paul uses three examples to illustrate who should be submissive to whom (wives to husbands, children to parents, servants to masters). Then, each is told to respond to authorities as unto the Lord. (see Dr. Grudem's article on "Myth of Mutual Submission" for detailed exegesis of this often misunderstood passage.)

* Regarding the example I shared in the workshop of respect toward government authorities such as President Clinton, with whom we as biblical Christians disagree (abortion, sexual immorality, homosexual promotion):

1. We must never rebuke a sitting president (executive branch), but rather appeal through the judicial and legislative processes.
2. If such a president visited your local church and wanted to share in the Lord's Supper, the pastoral elders of the church should kindly, yet directly, refuse to allow his participation unless he repented of his public policies of promoting sin (Mat 18:15-20). The local church pastoral elders are above him in spiritual rank, even though the president of the U.S. would be in civil rank above them regarding civil matters (the things of Caesar).

* Example of my daughter Amy and I, when harassed by an irate and out of control police officer:

Not long ago, I was taking Amy out for a "Discipleship Date". As we came to a school crossing, a police officer had obviously been called out to direct traffic for an absent crossing guard. There was a lot of traffic and the policeman seemed a bit confused, possibly because he didn't normally do (or like to do) traffic duty. Anyway, as Amy and I waited to turn left (our blinker was blinking), the officer pointed at us and then pointed over to our left. So I assumed he meant for us to turn. Wrong! As I slowly pulled out, the officer exploded in a rage, cursing and running toward me, waving his arms. Later in the day, a lady who was in the car behind us said she thought he was going to jump on my hood.

He told me (in between the profanity) to pull over and wait for another officer to come and give me a ticket. Amy began to cry and said, "Dad, are we going to jail"? I assured her we wouldn't, and pulled over to the shoulder. My flesh was furious and tempted to react with sinful insult for insult, but then I remembered Romans 13. That passage commands us to obey every government law, so long as it doesn't violate Scripture.

So instead, Amy and I sat on the back bumper of our van and had a Bible Study on Romans 13, while waiting for the other officer. When he arrived, I thanked both officers for their service to our city, told them that I truly had tried to obey his hand signals, and I took the ticket politely. Then I told Amy that we would take the ticket to the courthouse and appeal to the judge who had authority over the policemen.

When the court date came, we did just that. The judge listened to the policeman's story, then to mine. When I was done, the judge scolded the policeman for giving me an unnecessary ticket, and he sent us home. If he would have insisted that I pay the fine, however, I would have respectfully obeyed - as unto the Lord.

Please think prayerfully and biblically about the following questions.

When a Christian faces an out of control police officer, what should he do?

How should a Christian employee respond to an irresponsible boss?

What’s the biblical response for a wife toward an habitually sinful husband?

What should a child do if her mother is verbally abusive?

Does it make a difference if the authority is also a believer?

Biblical Examples of the Appeal Process

(We’ll examine these in more detail after a look at the issue’s implications for God’s glory.)

Child to Parent: Boy Jesus -The Way of the Son (Eph 6:1-4; Luk 2:39-52)

Wife to Husband: Sarah – Believing Husband (Eph 5:21 -32; Tit 2; 1 Pet 3)

Employee to Boss: Joseph - Yes even Slaves (Eph 6:5; 1 Pet 2:18 -23; Gen)

Member to Pastors: “Elder” Brothers (1 Ti 3; Tit 1; Heb 13:7, 17)

All to Governors: Daniel – Citizenship Evangelism (Dan; Rom 13; 1 Pe 2)

Angelic Majesties: Michael to Lucifer, (modern revilers, Jude 9-11)

My wife, Linda, and I are in the process of writing a small booklet for our children and grandchildren on this vital subject. Hopefully it will be on our website soon, but my chronic elbow problems and surgeries are delaying our plans. So, this workshop will merely be an introductory effort to stimulate your further study of our Father’s Word.

The question of appeal vs. rebuke is extremely significant because it ultimately affects the reputation of God the Father. It can only be answered by Scripture, not pragmatism or majority opinion. I know there are many scholars who are better equipped for this task than I am. However, I’m also a firm believer that God’s truths are simple enough for a little child, while remaining profound enough even for a genuine Ph.D. All people in rank above us represent God’s delegated authority, so how we respond to them (wives “as unto the Lord” Eph 5:22 ; children “in the Lord” 6:1; servants “as to Christ” 6:5) reveals how sincerely we respect our Heavenly Father and His Son. The modern “Myth of Mutual Submission” has been thoroughly debunked by Wayne Grudem, Ph.D. (see our website). God’s created structure of authority is the backbone necessary for families, churches, and governments to function with order and harmony for His glory. Failure to maintain it God’s way results in a disordered, dysfunctional system that ultimately dishonors the Lord and deceives others.

For me to write about the importance of responding to authority with respectful appeal instead of rebuke is ironic, to say the least. While all people are born rebellious sinners, some are more obvious than others, and I left no doubt in anybody's mind. As a little boy, I challenged my parents. As a youth I was every teacher's nightmare, and as a teenager, a police officer once told my father that I was a hardened-heart delinquent. My rebellion reached its apex as a young man, when I embraced the new age and stepped out onto the road most traveled (the egotistic path to self-deification). But God in His mercy and grace allowed me to create enough pain and emptiness in my own life to finally bring me to my knees in submissive faith under the authority of Jesus His Son. My wife, Linda, similarly went from being a feminist to reflecting the “beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet 3:4).

Over the past two decades since then, it's become more and more obvious that much of modern Christianity has unwittingly absorbed and incorporated, like spiritual osmosis, subtle elements of natural rebellion, thus reflecting an image that is less than the Way of God's Son. This biblical blind spot is especially evident, when it comes to how a believer should respond to a continuously sinful Christian authority. Today we see Christian children talking back to their Christian parents, Christian employees rebuking their Christian bosses, and even Christian citizens mocking government leaders who profess to be believers. In counseling, my wife and I see this character flaw most often manifested by assertive Christian wives toward their passive Christian husbands. The children then pick up this practice and feed it right back to Mom.

Titus 2:4-5 ". . . that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." [Emphasis added]

1 Peter 3:1 “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives.”

[Note: Some mistakenly say this only applies to wives of non-believers, because the phrase “not obey the word” can refer to unbelief. But, Peter’s primary example is Sarah, the wife of the father of faith, Abraham, so it clearly is meant to apply to both.]

Linda and I believe that the most Christ honoring, biblical response for any person under the authority of a continuously sinful person is the process of appeal, first directly to and then if necessary above that authority, but not personal rebuke. When a rebuke is needed, it should come from those of equal rank or above, not below. Most people recognize this principle when a Christian child tries to "rebuke" a Christian parent. Parents and children are of equal value, but not of equal rank, role, or responsibility. Therefore, biblical passages about accountability between people of equal rank (Prov 9:8; 27:5; Mat 7:1-5; 18:15-20, Gal 6:1; Eph 4:15, etc.) must be carefully qualified by other passages that specifically modify interaction between those of unequal rank.

All of us who teach about relationships are fallible and in danger of presenting imperfect interpretations and applications, especially when it comes to the issue of authority and submission. No author is totally unbiased. Each tends to see Scripture and life from his or her own "natural" perceptual filter. So, we all must beware of unbiblical extremes derived from our own personality or culture. Please remember, simply having a humble respectful tone does not legitimize rebuking an authority, since the Bible teaches a respectful process of appeal instead.

Below is a seven step process of appeal, that we believe is the standard biblical response, and applicable for any person under a sinful authority figure.

1. Prayerful submission under God's hand of authority (1 Pet 5:5-9), which includes all God-ordained human authorities. This means the purpose of the person under authority must be holiness for God's glory, not happiness for self-gratification. J.O.Y. follows right priorities (Jesus 1^st, Others 2^nd, Yourself 3^rd.

2. Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet 4:8). Many minor sin issues do not warrant even a direct appeal.

3. If a sin pattern appears to exist and to be serious in nature, it is best to humbly ask questions of the authority to clarify and to humbly share concerns or opinions.

4. If the facts verify serious sin, then a direct and humble appeal is appropriate. And the best approach is that of humble questions, not accusatory statements. For example a wife could say: "I know I could be wrong about what I'm thinking and feeling, sweetheart, yet I can't get rid of the concern, so could you please help me understand."

5. If the authority continues in the serious sin pattern, it is appropriate and sometimes biblically commanded to humbly appeal above that immediate authority. For a wife, that would be an appeal to the church pastoral elders (Heb 13:7, 17).

6. If the wife believes that the elders did not adequately hold her husband accountable so that the serious sin stopped, and danger to herself or others still exists, then it's appropriate to appeal above the church elders to the government (Rom 13). And in some cases of abuse, the law of the land commands that the government be notified. So according to Rom 13; Titus 3; 1 Pet 2; when sexual abuse of children is discovered to be a fact, that must be reported to the government authorities. It is also appropriate in some cases of physical or sexual abuse for the wife and/or kids to separate from the husband for both protection and counseling, under the protective oversight of the church and the government.

7. Finally, if all levels of appeal have been exhausted and the sin pattern is not stopped (like a wife of a Moslem man in a Moslem country), then she is to entrust herself to God just as Jesus in 1 Peter 2. Millions of Christian martyrs have gloried the Lord, revealing His supernatural love even for enemies, in just this way - the Way of God's Son (Romans 5:1-8).

Marriage: A Primary Picture of God’s Kind of Relationships

Designed for the Socialization of Our Children

A waltz is a beautiful portrait of Christ and His Bride, if and only if the bride follows the man's lead. The couple flow together as one, in harmony with the music. But, when both try to lead, they stumble and fall - too often on top of the children. Maybe that's why some "modern" dances involve two divided people jerking and flinging their bodies around in isolation, or crashing together as in “smash” dancing. Please think about it. A wife rebuking her husband is not a pretty picture in God’s sight either.

© L.E.A.D. toward restoration & maturity in Christ, for God's glory, when you are in authority: (Who is to lead? Government officials, pastors, husbands, parents, employers, teachers, etc.)

- Loving (Mat 22:36 -40; Joh 13:34 -35; Rom 13:8-10; 1 Co 12-14; Gal 5:14 ; 1 Jo 3-4)

- Equipping (Rom 1:12; Col 2:2; 1 Th 3:1-2; 5:14; 2 Ti 3:15-17) Teach, Convict, Correct, Train

- Accountability (Mat 18:15-20; 28:18-20; 2 Tim 2:1-4; Titus 2:3-5) Man to man, Woman to Woman

- Discipline (Mat 18:15-20; 1 Co 5:9-13) One to One, Two or More, Church, Public

Why & When to L.E.A.D.? Matthew 20:20 ff. When a Christian is in a position of authority, he or she is to lead as Christ, not the way of the world. If you love and equip, but do not exercise accountability and discipline, your leadership is unbiblical and will fail to honor God, benefit others, and bring you joy. Likewise, if you focus on accountability and discipline, and neglect loving and equipping, then your leadership will fail just the same. Please don’t fall for the modern myth of mutual submission. A parent for example is to be loving and kind, but never submit to the children.

Jesus as a boy was impeccably submissive, appealing with respectful questions and never rebuke (Luke 2). Only at the age of 30, when He stepped forward in the rank and role of Messiah did He rebuke religious and government authorities. And even then, it was rare and usually subdued since His first coming was to die, not yet to rule as King of Kings.

© F.O.L.L.O.W. your leaders, in order to reveal Christ's character, when you are under authority: (Who is to follow? Citizens, church members, wives, children, employees, students, etc.) 1 Peter 5:5-9; Luke 2:39-52; Rom 13:1; Heb 13:7-17; Eph 5:22 & 33; 6:1; 6:5; Gen 9:1-3)

- Fear (Eph 5:33; Col 3:22 "phobeo" = respectful fear, recognizing authority as delegated by God.)

- Observe (1 Co 11:1 You cannot follow unless you look to see what the leader is doing.)

- Listen (Pro 4:1 To help, you must incline your ear & heart to receive instructions.)

- Learn (Php 4:9 An assistant learns what is needed & expected, to work as an effective helper.)

- Obey (1 Pe 3:6 Knowing what to do, but not doing it, is destructive and dishonoring to God.)

- Walk (Gal 5:25 "stoicheo", marching under authority produces God's order, harmony, & glory.)

Why & When to F.O.L.L.O.W.? Sadly, some children today have learned by example from their mothers and fathers, the modern motto of "NO RESPECT, NO FEAR, NO RULES". Yet Scripture says that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Scripture teaches that all human authorities, yes even unbelieving ones, are in their position because God sovereignly allowed it. They are, therefore, His delegated authorities to ensure some level of order in this sinful world (Rom 13). We are to honor and fearfully respect all of them as unto the Lord. We are to obey them, unless they command us to violate a higher command. If such a sinful command is given, then we are to humbly and respectfully appeal directly to that sinful authority, and if that does not change the situation, then we can and sometimes must appeal above that sinful authority to higher human authorities. Remember, a person in rank under an authority, is never to "rebuke" that authority, who represents God's hand.