(A few suggestions)
Dear Ladies of Family Bible Church,
God has burdened me to share with you some thoughts on women's ministry and how it practically could take place in Family Bible church. I have shared with some of you before that the women who have been Titus 2 women in my life have been Elizabeth Elliot, Nancy Wilson, Martha Peace, Elizabeth Rice Handford, Genevieve White, and Debbie Pearl. They are women I have never met, but have written some helpful books that have transformed my life. Please keep in mind that I don't agree with everything in all of their materials, but have benefited from many biblical principles they have shared.
I have not had a visible, close older woman to come along side of me and "admonish me to love my husband, to love my children, to be discreet, chaste, a worker at home, good, obedient to my own husband, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."
In the churches I have been a part of, the older women had, for the most part, either not been taught themselves, or in the age-segregated groups spent their time socializing with each other. As a result, I could not benefit from their wisdom. I'm grateful that my mother did model for me how to love my children and be a chaste worker at home, but she did not know the Biblical principles of discipline and submission to live by. Yet God filled in the gap in this almost first generation of Biblical womanhood for our culture, through the writings of these godly women.
I am not a Titus 2 woman for two reasons. First a person can only bring another person as far as she has come. I do share what I have learned and am learning on a limited basis as a help-meet to my husband, Sid, in his discipleship counseling ministry (like Priscilla did with her husband Aquilla). But I am still learning to "love my husband, love my children, manage the home, etc.". I must re-read these books constantly and seek practical advice from my authority in raising (and home educating) our six children to apply these truths, so that the Word of God may not be blasphemed."
The second reason is even more significant. The qualifications for a Titus 2 woman is that she be an older woman. Why? Because she not only has the wisdom, but the time. If I attempted to be a Titus 2 woman for the women in our fellowship, I would violate the very things I should be admonishing them to do.
I do aspire to be a Titus 2 woman. When my children are grown and I have an "empty nest", then I am to mother other women, who will be just beginning what I have experienced and learned. In our modern, feminized culture, I am afraid we do not have a Biblical view of women's ministry. 1 Tim 5:13-15 says of younger widows: "and besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle, but also gossips and busy bodies, saying things they should not. Therefore I desire that the younger widow marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity for the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some have already turned aside after Satan."
There is a place for women's Bible studies and prayer groups, but Paul's emphasis here is that the Lord wants these young women to learn spiritual maturity through the trials of family life.
The Proverbs 31 woman was a very busy woman, but not in the way our modern view of a godly woman would picture it. 1 Tim 2:15 says that even though woman was deceived and fell into transgression, leading her husband and future generations into sin, "nevertheless she shall be saved through childbearing". Most commentators believe this has both a universal and a personal application.
The universal application is that by living in submission to her husband, and raising up a future generation who will live for God, women can reverse the effects and reproach of the fall. The personal application is that each woman can be saved (Greek = sozo = made complete, whole, mature) through the trials of being a wife and mother.
I could tell you of countless, well-meaning but misguided women I know who to various degrees have gone out on their own in their attempt to serve God, violating His priorities. The resulting damage to their marriages and/or rebellion in their children have caused the Word of God to be blasphemed - meaning that others watching say that the principles of God's Word obviously do not work.
So what can we do? First meet the priorities God has laid out for us. Simply modeling the priorities of God at home can be a powerful training tool for other women. I am writing this letter at five in the morning, not because it is the time I usually get up, but because I have no free time - no other quiet time when I can think, because I have a house full of precious children, endless responsibilities and my work is never done. But I believe I am in God's will in this, and this is what He has for me at this point in my life.
Second, while not violating these priorities, we are to exercise our spiritual gifts. We are always to be ready to give an answer for the hope that is in us, reaching the lost by opening our homes and praying for opportunities to redeem the time. Yesterday for example, my children found a lost dog. When we called the phone number on the collar, I was able to share my testimony with my neighbor and give our an "Ultimate Questions" booklet. I need to be bolder and take more of an initiative in befriending my lost neighbors.
1 Tim 2:9-10, says that we as women are to adorn ourselves with good works. You might share hand-me-downs with others in meeting physical needs just as Dorcas made clothing for women in her church. If you have the gift of mercy you might visit a nursing home and lead others to Christ or a closer walk with Him. If you have the gift of administration you might organize a mission project like the shower for the people whose house burned down.
Two ladies might agree to read a book together in their spare time and then call each other to discuss chapter by chapter the principles and how they could apply it in their lives. Ladies with extra time might offer to serve a single mom with help in housework, or childcare!
One way to become aware of the needs in the body is through hospitality, when you get to know one family at a time. You will find that as you share your struggles and ask for prayer, people will begin to feel safe (not judged) enough to share their personal struggles and prayer needs.
Beginning in March, once a month the ladies will meet for intercessory prayer. Since I do not have the gift of administration or the time to call and set this up, I need help. I am convinced by God's Word, and in submission to my husband in this, that as the wife of the only elder at this time in our church, I am not to function as co-pastor. I've seen too many pastors' wives fall into this trap to the destruction of their families.
So be encouraged. I think we are blessed with having a group of like-minded believers who hold to the Word of God rather than our feminized culture. We are ladies who desire to be true help-meets and godly women. We need to pray for one another and reach out, dying to self, in love for one another without violating God's priorities for the home.
Whether Family Bible Church has an effective ladies ministry depends on each one of us. We are to minister first to our husbands and children, and then to each other. We are called to be laborers in the harvest. It is spiritual warfare. It is tiresome and we want to give up. But we are encouraged in Galatians 6:9-10 "And let us not grow weary, while doing good, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household or faith."
Your sister in Christ love,
Linda Galloway
www.soulcare.org